Don't ask me to go hiking

It seems most men in the NW like to go "hiking, camping and fishing". Anyone who knows me knows my idea of camping is no room service after midnight. And hiking, hey I trip on a paperclip on the floor!! I might consider it if Gucci makes hiking boots. On second thought, even that wouldn't get me to go hiking. As for fishing, that I just might consider. But let's not broadcast that, OK?